Digital media strategist, writer and editor. Columnist for outlets such as HelloGiggles, Redbook, eHow, Disney and Nickelodeon. Former TV writer for "The Bold and the Beautiful." Alumna of Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism.
In our home, “international cuisine” consists of macaroni from a box and, if we’re feeling really exotic, French bread, thanks to the finicky palates of our young children. That girl you see drowning her chicken and rice with the ketchup packets at the Chinese restaurant? Yep, that’s our daughter.
There are countless beautiful moments in a mother’s life, none of which involve standing in the middle of a mall parking lot screaming, “HOW THE HELL DO I COLLAPSE THIS STROLLER?!”. Which is to say my afternoon was, well, somewhat ugly on Sunday. Candy had already left on yet another one of his “business trips.”.
A full year after delivering her first child via an emergency C-section, Kari Horn noticed a bulge the size of a golf ball just above her belly button was causing her major discomfort. “I could take a single bite of food, and it would feel ‘stuck’ in that spot and make me feel full,” she explained, comparing the sensation to bloating.
If you’re a fan of HGTV’s Fixer Upper, then you know all too well the show features Chip and Joanna Gaines, a married couple who own and operate Magnolia Homes, a remodeling and design business in Waco, Texas. Fixer Upper shows the process by which the couple turn dilapidated houses into lovely homes to help revitalize the neighborhoods throughout central Texas.
When your baby starts teething and whimpering in discomfort, it’s likely that somebody will suggest buying an amber necklace. Baltic amber necklaces contains succinic acid, which purportedly offer anti-inflammatory drooling- and teething-pain-reduction properties. Retailers claim that when warmed by the baby’s body, the amber releases a pain-relieving substance that is then absorbed through the skin into the bloodstream.
Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?”.
The moment I grew a pregnancy-induced hair on my chin, I knew there was only one way to survive parenthood: with laughter. And sharp tweezers, apparently. So I veered slightly off-course from my television writing career to launch a family humor blog, The Laughing Stork, where I write about important parenting issues such as the physics behind gravity-defying baby poop.
I don’t enjoy–or know much about–cooking. I don’t own a hand mixer. I didn’t know it was called a “hand mixer” until I just googled “what do you call an electric beater thingy.”. My kids are awed and amazed when I manage to make pancakes without incident. I am capable of using an Instant Pot for something other than storage (sorry, oven).
New Year’s resolutions are typically made to be broken — but at least us moms have a good excuse for ditching the common ones. Here are seven of the most popular resolutions and why most mothers can’t possibly keep them: Why moms can’t keep it: Have to “help” the kids by eating their leftover Christmas candy.
When the kids are older, do you think you'll get a real job? Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow? I'm jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn't have to work either. I'm sure you're not the only one who's ever wasted money on a college degree.
People warn you about the exhaustion that comes with having a newborn. “Omigod, you’d better get your sleep now because you’ll never get to sleep again once that baby comes!”. they cackle knowingly. And, despite wanting to kick them with your swollen feet, you know those know-it-alls are right. So you spend your nine(ish) months of pregnancy steeling yourself for the sleepless nights and searching the online mom forums for helpful advice, such as where you can invest in a Red Bull I.V. drip.